Monday, July 14, 2008

My Hot Pocket Injury Claim

I have decided that Hot Pockets are not an appropriate food to eat when one is hungry. I have come to this decision after being burned one too many times. This is why; You are at home, maybe working around the house, maybe playing video games, whatever...but somehow the time elapses until you realize that it is way after lunch time and you are starving. After circulating the kitchen and looking in the refrigerator and cabinets about 3 times you come to the conclusion that there is nothing to eat. So you do what any starving person desperate for a bite to eat does and that is cook a Hot Pocket. You find the unlabeled Hot Pocket that is buried in the back of the freezer, you shove the pocket into the sleeve that is too small and pop it in the microwave for 2 minutes. You stand in front of the microwave and tap your fingers while counting down the seconds just waiting to taste whats inside the mystery Hot Pocket. Ahhhaa...3,2, is done. You grab it and bite into it...right there...that is when it happens. You burn your tongue so bad that you cannot taste food for at least 2 days. And then the cheese starts to ooze out and as you pull the HOOOTTT Pocket away...the cheese falls out of the pocket and slaps against your chin leaving behind a red welt on your face. Nice. Here I am starving and I injure my mouth! I am thinking of filing an injury claim against the company. (just kidding) But seriously, there is no way to eat a Hot Pocket and be happy. If you cook the Hot Pocket for one and a half minutes instead of the recommended is still cold....and I, prefer my processed meat and cheese pocket, warm...not HOOOTTT and not cold. What is this world coming to? What is a starving person craving a Hot Pocket to do? Huh? Huh?....

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