Friday, December 18, 2009

Lessons Learned in '09 Chapter 4

Welcome to my new series titled Lessons Learned in 2009. This series is a serious look back at my life in 2009. I try not to get too personal on this blog but for this series I dug deep and I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 4 - Babies

Oh I hate this topic. This year I learned how badly my husband wants children. I also learned that I’m not there yet. And even worse, I don’t know if I will. I’ll admit sometimes certain things make me crave to be a mother; knowing how badly my husband wants to be a father, seeing my best friend with her little girl, looking at my spare bedrooms and thinking the possibilities, walking through the stores and seeing all the material things I want to buy for a little one, thinking of my mother and father becoming grandparents and my brothers becoming uncles and just the smell of a newborn. Okay, that list is a little longer than I wanted it to be. But there are also things that make me feel the opposite about having a child; the lack of freedom to pack up and go, the amount of energy and lack of sleep required, walking through the stores and seeing the kids screaming “I WANT I WANT I WANT!” And all the questions that go through my head are endless; can we afford it, do I have what it takes, does my husband have what it takes, what if the baby is unhealthy? What if I cant? I am anxious to see what year 2010 brings in this department. Will it bring a newborn? Or will it take this topic off the table for good?

Up Next, Chapter 5 - Death

Click here to read Chapter 1 - Don't get too comfortable
Click here to read Chapter 2 - Perspective
Click here to read Chapter 3 - Weight loss

1 comment:

The Darbzilla said...

I can really relate to this one, Heather. That was me a few years ago, and then I became like Jeff after my niece was born. That's one of the tings my husband wasn't on board for, and it was hard to deal with sometimes. I still want kids, but I know they will have to wait now.